01 Apr About Marriage… – Apr 11
By: Eddy Suki
I have been married for 12 years, in comparison with some of the elders in the church, my marriage is like a year 6 student. However, I always believe that the quality of marriage life is not determined by how long you have been married but rather on the willingness of each partner to commit, to love and to support each other in their marriage.
For the last couple of years, my wife and I have been approached by several younger married couples for advices; we are delighted to be able to be a blessing for others. In addition, we are able to appreciate more the importance of understanding about marriage life before any one commit to it. In this article, I would like to share some basic Q&A to couples before they say “I do”.
How do you know if you are ready for marriage?
I like to dedicate this answer to the “Groom to be”. Why? Because man is the leader in the family and God hold him accountable for his family. Every man needs to realise that they are created by God to be a father. It is not a choice but rather inherent and privilege as a man. As a man (father), he needs to understand his purpose as:
• Source – to provide shelter, food, clothes, etc
• Nourisher – to help your family grow spiritually, mentally and physically
• Sustainer – to help them overcome all the challenges in life
• Supporter – to support them in circumstances
• Founder – to exercise authority and set an example
• Protector – to protect them even to the extent of surrendering your life for your family
If you are not ready for any of the above then you may want to think again before walking down the aisle.
As a husband, I am the head of family therefore my wife should obey what I say?
The above statement is partly true but missing the important point. In Ephesians 5:25 Paul stated, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself up for it”. That’s it, as Christ comes to serve not to be served so the husband should serve his wife needs. Yes, as a husband you should know the needs of your wife and children without them having to open their mouth and ask from you.
But, we should share the work load. It is not fair!
Marriage is a covenant not a contract. In marriage life there is no such thing as “You do the cooking and I wash the dishes”. Marriage is more than that. As Jesus still love us when we disobey or fall into sin, so husband or wife should love, support and help each other regardless of the circumstances.
Why does it sounds so difficult? I thought marriage should be fun?
There are fun parts in marriage life but there are also commitment, sacrifice, love, loyalty, submission, etc. If you think marriage is all about fun, sex and having a baby then you have missed the big picture. In a short statement – Marriage is one of God’s ways to fulfil His destiny in you.
The question does not stop there, but rather continue and get more interested. I wish I have all the 16 pages of ROCK Sydney Bulletin just for the Q&A, but I don’t. So, if you wish to learn more, please join our ROCK Sydney School of Ministry (SOM).